Wednesday, July 23, 2014

047: Alien3 (1992) - The Ungainly, the Underwhelming, and the Ugly

SPOILERS FOR ALIEN (1979), ALIENS (1986), ALIEN (1992), ALIEN: RESURRECTION (1997), and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

In this episode:
  • A Matter of Taste recommends that everyone take a deep breath and find a strong drink before pursuing the ill-advised course of watching this movie.
  • That's right, we're talking Alien3. 
  • Spoiler alert, in case you didn't see this one coming, the special effects do not hold up so well.
  • The set design, however? Pretty solid.
  • We discuss the various follies that resulted in this film.
    • Most of them can be laid at the feet of a script passed around between a cavalcade of screenwriters and one dude who apparently just hated fun.
  • Ripley's characterization: where is it in this movie? Did it escape when the pod crashed? What happened?
  • This is the first time we see an Alien's form altered by the host it impregnated, so that's kind-of cool at least.
    • The concept moreso than the execution.
  • We address the elephant in the room, namely why Newt and Hicks don't survive the first scene.
    • There's really no good reason.
    • None at all.
    • Okay, there are a few reasons we can come up with, but no good ones.
    • I don't know what you want from me, it was a bad choice.
  • Because of the magnitude of this betrayal, it becomes difficult to get invested in any of the other characters in the film because the screenwriters have already broken the audience's trust for no discernible reason, we touch on this a bit in the 'cast.
  • We do get around to talking about stuff other than how upset we are at the murder of Newt and Hicks. I think.

  • Double-Y chromosomes are a thing, but not the thing that the movie wanted them to be.
  • UPDATE: Tumblr user eriksmaugcanton informs us about the comic book series Fio recalled but couldn't remember the name of.
  • Highlights from Ian's Timestamps:
    • 9:52 - I honestly did not register the mugs looking weird. I think this is another Dolarhyde’s chairs situation. XP
    • 11:52 - See, my brain immediately went to Doctor Hugh and started making House jokes.
    • 13:30 - Did I just call it a “spacehugger”? ahahahahahahaha. Futuristic environmentalists ftw. “HUG THE VACUUM! PROTECT THE EMPTINESS OF SPACE!”
    • 16:11 - “I don’t know how to judge that part [killing off Newt and Hicks] of the movie…” Oh, don’t worry, former Ian. You’ll know by the end of the podcast.
    • 53:35 - And boom goes the dynamite. :P “BULLSHIT,” FIO. YOU MADE ME USE A SWEAR OTHER THAN “FUCK.”
  • Intro: "This is My Design" - original song, music by Ian. More on this as it develops.
  • Outro: "The Great Disappointment" - AFI | YouTube | iTunes |
(Screencap taken from

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

046: Aliens (1986) - They Mostly Podcast At Night. Mostly.

SPOILERS FOR ALIEN (1979), ALIENS (1986), ALIEN 3 (1992), ALIEN: RESURRECTION (1997), PROMETHEUS (2012), and ANIMORPHS #53: THE DECISION (are you even surprised?).

In this episode:
  • Cleolinda Jones joins us once again for one of her (and our) favorite movies!
  • Discussion of Aliens (1986), including our first exposures to the film, the theme of family throughout the film, the differences between the theatrical and Special Edition cuts, and our favorite moments and lines.
  • Why does this movie speak to so many people? We theorize.
  • Ian pulls in references to Captain Underpants and Animorphs, because of course he does.
  • We need a bingo card for frequent podcast occurrences. Any takers?
  • The morality of Carter Burke
  • Cleo shows us why Aliens really is It Gets Worse: The Movie.
  • We discuss the xenomorph lifecycle as a dark reflection of human reproduction, this movie especially emphasizing parenthood.
  • Ian regales all with excerpts from the Aliens novelization.
  • Bishop and androids in the Alien movies.
  • We talk a little bit more about the upcoming Alien: Isolation video game, which just had a pretty awesome announcement.

  • I am aware the line is "You've blown a trans-axle," not "busted." For the longest time I remembered it as "busted" (and also as "ease off" instead of "ease down"). It's close enough that I didn't feel like re-recording it once I realized the error. FORGIVE ME, INTERNETS.
  • According to Wikipedia, it was 17,372 Yeerks that Jake ordered Ax to flush. Of course, it also says he did it "Hoping to distract Visser One and Tom long enough to save Rachel's life," which is a complete and utter lie.
  • In a rare moment of clarity while listening back to the podcast, I remembered where Cleo must have gotten "158" for the colony's population.
  • Highlights from Fio's timestamps:
    • 4:00 - 5:10 - And a phone is ringing. That no one can hear but you, Ian. There was no phone. There was no phone, was there Ian? Was there?
    • 16:41 - I said Lurkers when I meant Licker. I’m a bad Resi fan.
    • 26:51 - I know you said “thirty-thousand, or…” here, but it sounds like you said “thirty-thousander” and it made me giggle.
  • Opening: "Ripley's Rescue" - James Horner, Aliens: The Deluxe Edition (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack) | YouTube | iTunes
  • Intro: "This is My Design" - original song, music by Ian. More on this as it develops.
  • Outro: "Killer Queen" - Queen | YouTube | iTunes |
(Header image taken from